


A Father's Sorrows

by Nicci1989



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, BoFA spoilers, Death, F/M, Halls of Mandos, Mourning, Past Character Death, pre/during and post BOFA
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-06 20:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3147011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicci1989/pseuds/Nicci1989
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short story about Vili, husband of Dis, who watches his son's lives from their childhood to their deaths from the Halls of Waiting. May contain BoFA spoilers!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Vili, husband of Dis and father of Fili and Kili died shortly after his second son's birth in an Orc raid protecting his family. After his death he watched his children grow up from the Halls of Mandos.

Vili often worried about his oldest son. Fili had been declared Thorin's heir shortly after his birth. He grew up with the weight of responsibility upon his shoulders and without a real childhood. He was treated very different from his younger brother.

Kili had much freedom, Thorin played with him and sometimes even laughed about his jokes and the mischief he caused whereas Fili was often scolded for the same things. When Kili played outside Fili often had to sit in his room with Balin to learn about the history of the dwarves and other things a future king had to know.

When Fili started his weapons training Thorin only frowned at Fili's choice of twin swords. Vili on the other hand couldn't have been prouder of his son. His son did not just prefer the same weapon he did, he even wanted to fight with his swords. A few years later Kili chose the long sword and a bow as his preferred weapons. Thorin smiled at him and told him how proud he was. In his opinion these were the best weapons. Vili wondered if things had been then same if he wasn't dead.

Even Dis seemed to favour Kili. She cared for both of them but often spent more time playing and cuddling with Kili.

When Fili was a baby Dis barely left him and doted upon him all the time. He was their sunshine and biggest treasure. After his death Dis barely looked at her eldest son anymore and when she did with a strange expression. Vili soon realised that Dis couldn't bear looking at her son, who looked so much like his father with his blue eyes and golden hair.

Vili prayed to Aule that one day Dis might be able to love Fili in the way she used to before his death. But this never happened. She never looked at him as lovingly and affectionate as at Kili.

Of course Fili noticed all of this but he never said anything. He always did as told and tried to make his mother and uncle proud even though it seemed that nothing he did was good enough.

Vili was glad that Kili loved and adored his older brother. Fili was one of his role models and he wanted to be like him when he was a small dwarfling. When he grew older he sometimes even told his uncle that it was unfair that he could play and explore Ered Luin while Fili had to learn different things. But Thorin only frowned at him and told him that he could join Fili if he wanted to spend time with him.

Fili and Kili stayed close for their whole youth, they even shared a room. They were best friends but Fili never dared to tell him about his sorrows or about his first love.

When Fili was 78 he fell in love with Inia, a young dwarf from a miner's family in Ered Luin. Fili told no one about his feelings, not even her. He knew that his uncle would never allow him to marry a girl from a poor family without any influence. However Fili watched her whenever he saw her at the market and danced with her at celebrations like Durin's Day. Vili hoped that his son might change his mind and tell her one day. To him it didn't matter who his son loved as long as she made him happy. And he knew that Inia liked Fili very much too.

3 years later Thorin told Dis and the boys about his meeting with Gandalf in Bree and that he had decided to try to retrieve the Arkenstone and to reclaim Erebor. Of course Fili and Kili wanted to join the small company that would set out next spring. Vili cursed; like most dwarves he didn't believe that they might succeed and didn't want his sons to die in the dragonfire. But of course there was nothing he could do.

Fili knew that they might not survive their quest and finally decided to tell Inia about his feelings. During the last 3 years he had noticed that she at least fancied him, too. He told her at the market to meet him.

The next day Fili waited for her in a cavern in a part of Ered Liun that was rarely used. He wondered if his request to meet her and the note he put in her basket were to blunt and if she'd turn up at all. He paced around the cavern nervously.

Once again Vili smiled because his son's behaviour was so similar to his own even though he didn't play a big part in his upbringing.

Soon Inia arrived in the cavern and smiled at Fili shyly. "Good afternoon, Prince Fili! How can I help you?"

Fili took a deep breath and looked at her. She wore a simple brown dress that had been mended in many places and her light brown hair was pulled back in a simple braid. But for him she was still much more beautiful than any of the noble's daughters.

"Good afternoon Inia! As you may know me and several other dwarves will try to retake Erebor soon. Before we leave, I want to tell you something very important."

The dwarf lass looked puzzled and stared at him with wide brown eyes. Fili walked closer to her and took her hand. She wanted to pull back but Fili didn't let her go. "I know that we will never have a future together even if I'd survive this quest, but I want you to know that I love you!"

Inia swallowed hard "Why Fili? I'm no one important or special? I, I never understood my feelings for you. But a few months ago I realised that what I feel for you is love."

Fili grinned and wrapped his arms around her. "I want to spent time with you. Let's try to use the time until I have to leave for the Shire as good as we can." Inia nooded and Fili started to kissed her.

Vili watched his son and Inia. They spent as much time together as possible. He was glad that no one noticed their secret meeting because he knew that this would only cause trouble. He hadn't seen his son this happy for a very long time.

Unfortunately that happiness didn't last long. Thorin left Ered Luin earlier than the others to meet a few dwarf lords. He wanted Fili to help Dis in the first few weeks of her temporary reign over the dwarves of Ered Luin. Fili was busy from dawn to dusk and couldn't even say goodbye to Inia. He left something in their cave for her though.

Soon the day of Fili's and Kili's departure from Ered Luin arrived. Dis embraced Fili for a few seconds and pressed her forehead against his. Fili promised to look after and to protect his brother and uncle. Dis nooded and then quickly turned to Kili. She gave him a beautiful hand carved runestone and made him promise to come back to her. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and kissed his forehead.

Vili sighed when he saw the sad look on Fili's face. When Kili looked towards him though, Fili smiled but his smile didn't reach his eyes. Once again Vili wished to be there to tell him how much he loved him.

Fili and Kili mounted their ponies and rode away waving at their mother. Dis tried to hide her tears. She had lost so many members of her family already. She worried that she might lose her remaining brother, her sunshine Kili and Fili, who reminded her of her One every day, now as well. She realised that she never told Fili now much she loved him and prayed to Aule that she would be able to tell him in the future.


	2. Chapter 2

Vili was happy to see how much Fili and Kili enjoyed their time together on their way to the Shire. As always Fili kept an watchful eye on his younger brother. The way from Ered Luin to the Shire was quite safe but one never knew. He was glad that Fili didn't blame Kili for how everyone treated him, after all it wasn't the younger brother's fault.

When they finally arrived in Bag End Vili had to chuckle about the look on the hobbit's face when Fili handed him all of his weapons. After a merry dinner Thorin finally arrived. He looked towards Balin and Dwalin and greeted Kili with a smile after handing him his coat. However he didn't even bother looking at his second nephew. While Thorin ate, he told the others about his meeting with the dwarf lords. They would not come and so they would have to try to reclaim Erebor with only 13 dwarves, a wizard and maybe a hobbit. Vili feared the outcome of this journey and the dangerous path ahead of his sons. Once again, he prayed to Aule, that by some miracle they might survive and maybe even succeed in killing the dragon.

The next morning they started their long journey without Bilbo, the hobbit, who soon followed them though. The first few days passed quickly. One night they camped on a cliff and Fili and Kili were supposed to keep watch. When Bilbo heard some howling in the distance, he asked worriedly if there were wolves out there. Kili and Fili mad fun of him, saying that these sounds came from orcs, who killed people. Thorin suddenly stood up and looked towards them sternly. Vili was surprised that Thorin scolded Kili, too. He did this rarely and had to be really angry. He noticed the sad look on his sons' faces and knew that they regretted their deeds deeply. A bit later Fili even went to Bilbo and told him that he was sorry.

They continued their journey and camped close to a destroyed farm. Fili and Kili were supposed to look after the ponies. They thought that nothing could happen to them and so they didn't pay much attention. Vili noticed 3 trolls in the distance who went towards his sons. He wanted to scream to warn them but he could do nothing, save watch them get into serious danger.

Soon after Fili and Kili noticed that two ponies were missing, the hobbit brought them their dinner. They started searching for the ponies. Vili couldn't help but chuckle when he saw how carefully Bilbo carried the bowls full of stew around even though they were in such a dangerous situation. They sent him to free the ponies because he was so small and went back to the others to get help. Thorin glared at Fili angrily and said that they'd have to talk about that later. But first they had to save their burglar.

Vili sighed; so often his brother-in-law only scolded his oldest nephew.

Kili was the first to attack the trolls to free Bilbo. They fought well until one of the trolls grabbed the hobbit and soon all dwarves were put into sacks or on a pile over a fire. Vili knew that his sons might die on their quest but he didn't imagine them being eaten by trolls. He sighed in relief when he saw Gandalf approach. He split a stone in two and soon the trolls were turned into stone.

While they put their clothes on, Thorin went to Fili and told him that the next time he was assigned with a task he expected him to concentrate on that instead of causing mischief and trouble. Afterwards Thorin went to Kili, but only to make sure that he was fine. Vili didn't know what to say, he simply shook his head.

After they had inspected the troll hoard, they were attacked by another warg pack. Another wizard, called Radagast the Brown, tried to distract the wargs and orcs, but soon they found the small company of dwarves. Fili managed to kill a few of their enemies with his twin blades. Thorin didn't even seem to notice. He only looked after Kili, who had run quite far away to shoot more orcs. Gandalf led them to a secret tunnel.

Soon they arrived in the elvish city Rivendell. Vili knew how much his wife's brother hated the elves and was curious to see how he might react to their stay there. Surprisingly Thorin behaved quite well and even told Lord Elrond about the map with the hidden entrance to the Lonely Mountain. Kili even seemed to fancy the elf maids though he tried to persuade the company that he didn't. They made fun of him because he couldn't even distinguish a make and a female elf and told them that one of the males looked not too bad. At that point even Vili couldn't hold back his laughter.

Fili on the other hand sat in a corner next to Bilbo and didn't participate in the singing and dancing of the other dwarves. Vili knew that Thorin's words troubled Fili deeply. He always tried to make his uncle proud but apparently Thorin was quite disappointed with his behaviour during their journey.

Bilbo noticed that Fili was troubled, too. He told him that it might help to talk to someone about what was wrong. He explained that he couldn't talk to any of the dwarves and that he didn't want to trouble the hobbit, who had enough problems of his own. Bilbo accepted that and suggested that he might write a letter to someone he trusted. Fili thanked Bilbo and asked one of the elves for some paper and ink.

Vili grinned when he saw Fili's face light up at the thought of writing to Inia. He'd write to her whenever he could. He wasn't able to send the letters but he'd make sure that she'd get them when the quest was completed.

While Fili was writing, Vili let his view drift towards the Blue Mountains. There, in Ered Luin, Inia had to bear the consequences of the few weeks she spent with Fili. Vili first smiled when he realised what had happened. But soon his happiness turned into a distressed frown. Inia's family had sent her away and she had no idea what to do. He hoped that she'd talk to Dis. He was sure that she'd help Inia after an initial shock and anger about what Fili had done.


	3. Chapter 3

The dwarves left Rivendell without Gandalf after the secret of the map had been revealed. Vili was glad that there was another way in other than the front gate but still wondered how they wanted to kill the dragon.

They crossed the Misty Mountains without any problems until they found themselves in the middle of a thunderstorm one evening. But the wind and rain wasn't the worst. Vili and the company soon noticed that this was a thunder battle and that they were walking on stone giants. When big pieces of stone fell onto them, Vili prayed that no one would be injured. Suddenly he saw a gap between his sons. Kili tried to grab Fili's hand but it was too late. Kili had never been separated from his brother in a dangerous situation and Vili could clearly see the fear and horror on his younger son's face.

The part of the group that included Kili and Thorin could soon jump off the leg of the stone giant onto a solid part of the mountain. The others, including Fili, were still stuck on the knee of the giant when he was hit by a giant stone and began to tumble. He collapsed forward and his knee crashed into the mountainside just a few metres in front of the others. Vili was sure that he had to welcome his eldest son in the Halls of Waiting very soon.

Moments later he saw movements on the cliff and sighed in relief. The group had survived. He also saw Thorin running toward them with his eyes wide in fear. Suddenly he heard him scream for Kili. Vili was perplexed. He had to know that Kili was with them. Did Thorin once again mix up the names of his nephews like he had done in the past or was he simply not able to worry about Fili's safety? He really wasn't sure, he hoped it was just the first of these two options but deep in his heart knew that the later might be true, too.

A few of the dwarves had to safe the hobbit, who hang down the cliff. But Kili had only eyes for his brother and embraced him tightly. Thorin sent them to look for a place to sleep and soon the company rested in a cave.

Vili hoped that they'd manage to pass the rest of the Misty Mountains without any problems. But in the same night he had to watch them literally fall into another danger.

The floor of the cave, the dwarves slept in, opened and they were captured by goblins. Soon they were standing in front of their king and stripped off their weapons. Fili was at the back of the group and tries to fight the goblins. They had taken his twin swords but so far they hadn't seen many of his hidden knives.

The goblin king wanted to know what the dwarves were doing in the mountains. Of course the dwarves didn't tell him the truth and so the he decided to torture them. The moment the goblin king announced that he wanted to start with the youngest, Fili tried to get to Kili to protect him. He would take the pain instead of his brother. For the second time that night Vili worried for Fili's life but was still proud.

Suddenly one of the goblins found Orcrist, the elvish sword Thorin had found in the troll hoard, amongst the dwarves weapons and shrieked. The goblin king ordered to kill Thorin immediately. Fili still tried to reach his family but the goblins held him and the others. A few seconds later a bright white light filled the tunnels and caves of the goblin kingdom and everyone was knocked down.

The wizard had come to help the dwarves. They grabbed their weapons and fought. Gandalf killed the goblin king. Fili and Kili killed several goblins on their way out. Vili chuckled when Kili used a ladder as a protection against arrows but was glad that it worked. He was relieved when the company had finally arrived an exit and the safety of daylight. Except for a few scratches they seemed to be uninjured.

Vili only paid attention to his sons. He didn't even notice that the hobbit was missing until Fili asked how he had passed the goblins. He smiled when Bilbo explained that he wanted to do everything he could to help the dwarves reclaim their home.

This moment of peace didn't last long. The dwarves heard the howling of wargs in the distance and Gandalf told them to run. Vili saw that the company was stuck on a cliff and that the wargs were fast approaching. He gasped in horror, when he saw the leader of the orcs. It was Azog, the Defiler, a huge white orc who had beheaded King Thror and was sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. The three remaining male members were in a trap in front of him. Vili hoped that the dwarves could escape as by some miracle.

The company climbed onto a few trees but the wargs uprooted them until all of them were trapped on one tree that looked like it might fall down the cliff any minute. Thorin attacked Azog but was knocked out. The hobbit saved his live and Fili, Kili and a few others followed close behind. They injured and killed some orcs and wargs but Vili worried that they might not be able to kill Azog and might die nonetheless. All of the sudden Vili saw giant eagles flying towards the cliff. They killed most of the wargs and orcs and picked up the company. Thorin lay unconscious in the claws of the leader of the eagles and the others were sitting on the eagles' backs. Fili and Kili shared one eagle and looked at Thorin in worry. Vili heard Fili scream Thorin's name. He had never heard his son scream with so much fear. Vili knew that Thorin was still alive and hoped that he wasn't too badly injured. Fili would blame himself for the rest of his live if something happened to his uncle.

Soon the eagles landed on a huge bear shaped rock. Thorin was put on the ground and Gandalf rushed to him immediately. He murmured something and Thorin opened his eyes. He had some injuries but they didn't seem to be too bad. He asked about the hobbit and went to him. Thorin told Bilbo that he had been very wrong with what he had said earlier and hugged him. Fili and Kili stood next to each other and smiled brightly. They saw the Lonely Mountain in the distance and gasped. Vili wasn't from Erebor and had never seen it with his own eyes either. This was a very special moment for all of them.

Bilbo said that he thought that the worst was behind them. Vili smiled and hoped that the hobbit was right and that they might reach the mountain without too many dangers on their paths.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the company continue their journey from the Carrock to Lake Town

When Thorin felt better, the company climbed down the bear shaped rock. They sent the hobbit to look for the wargs and orcs. When he returned, he told them, that they hadn't seen them so far but that there was something else out there. Gandalf asked him about it and suddenly they heard a howling in the distance. Vili hoped that the dwarves might be able to take refuge in the house Gandalf had talked about. The wizards told them to run and Vili soon spotted his sons towards the front of the group. He couldn't contain his laughter when he saw Bombur running past them like mad and arriving at the house at first. The door was locked though, and so most of the dwarves, including Fili and Kili crushed into it. Vili gasped when he saw a huge black bear jumping out of the woods behind the dwarves. He sighed in relief after Thorin was able to open the door and the company managed to close it again although a part of the beast's snout was already between the door and its frame. The dwarves tried to sleep in the hay among the animals, that lived inside the house. Vili saw the orcs close to the house but it seemed like the bear stood guard in front of his house. He hoped that Beorn was a friend after all.

The next morning Gandalf introduced the dwarves to Beorn. Vili was glad, that he didn't turn them into shreds. He was now in his man form but was still huge and scary. The company even got breakfast in his house. Fili sat next to his brother with a huge mug with milk in front of him. Vili thought that he looked like a small dwarfling again and smiled. He had so many fond memories of Fili as a child and prayed every day that Fili would be able to live with his child one day.

Boern told them, that he didn't like dwarves but that he hated orcs even more and promised to help them. They got ponies and supplies and soon continued their journey to Mirkwood. Vili noticed that Beorn accompanied them in the distance. He was sure that the skinchanger did this to look after his beloved ponies but by doing this, he also protected the dwarves.

Soon the company arrived at the borders of Mirkwood. Gandalf told them that he had to leave and warned them about the dangers of the forest. For a short time the dwarves were able to continue their journey quite normally but soon the sickness of the forest seemed to enter their minds. Vili thought that they behaved like they were drunk or drugged. They arrived at the enchanted river but the bridge over it was broken. Kili noticed lianas hanging down from the trees and wanted to grab one to cross the river. Vili heard Thorin yelling a name. He wasn't sure if he simply misheard it but to him it sounded more like 'Fili' than 'Kili'. He wasn't too surprised about that though. His wife's brother often scolded Fili for things Kili had done.

They sent the hobbit first and soon all of them had crossed the river. Unfortunately Bombur had fallen into the river and was asleep now. They remembered Gandalf's words and knew that he wouldn't wake up anytime soon. So they made a stretcher and a few of the company including Fili and Kili carried the big dwarf. After a while the effects of the forest became even worse. They had lost their way and argued with each other. Vili worried deeply. He saw Fili and Ori shoving each other around until Kili tried to separate them. Thorin told them to be quiet and then they sent the hobbit up a tree to find out where they were.

Suddenly the company was attacked by spiders. They bit them and wrapped them into cocoons. Vili was terrified since he was sure that the spiders tried to eat the dwarves. Luckily Bilbo was able to free his friends. They killed a few of them when a group of elves appeared. They killed even more spiders and attacked the company. Vili wondered what might happen now but suddenly frowned when he saw that Kili was not among them. Then he heard a scream and Fili yelling his younger brother's name in worry. Kili had been dragged away by one of the spiders and Fili had to watched helplessly.

Vili saw a red-haired female elf saving his son. She looked at him with a strange expression and led him to the others. The elves took the dwarves' weapons and brought them to the palace of Thranduil, the King of Mirkwood. There they were put into cells. Despite the bad situation Vili had to laugh about the annoyed look on the face of the elf, that guarded Fili. He knew that Fili had weapons hidden all over his body and wondered if the elf had finally found all of them.

A few days later the hobbit was able to free the dwarves and let them to the cellars. He told them to climb into empty wine barrels. After a short argument they finally did as they were told.

They dwarves floated down the forest river until they reached another gate. The elves had noticed their disappearance and closed it the moment they arrived. Once again they were stuck behind a barrier. Vili groaned when he saw an orc pack coming towards the group. He also saw Kili jumping out of his barrel trying to get to the lever that would open the barrier. Suddenly a huge orc shot an arrow at him and hit his knee. Vili shivered when he heard Fili's anxious scream. The golden haired dwarf stayed in his barrel and tried to help his brother from there by throwing stones at the orcs.

A few seconds later more elves arrived and fought the orcs. Kili was able to open the lever and jumped back into one of the barrels. The company continued to float down the river and had finally outrun the orcs thanks to the current. But soon the river slowed down and the dwarves had to leave their barrels.

Vili worried deeply for his younger son. Kili tried to hide it but he was in terrible pain. Of course Fili was next to him immediately. Once again all he thought about was the safety of his brother. Vili was proud of his sons but had to gasp when he heard Thorin's reaction. He didn't even look at Kili but only told Fili that he had two minutes to bind his brother's leg.

When they were done, a man appeared near the river and pointed a bow at the dwarves. Balin tried to negotiate with him and they sat in his barge. The man, Bard, would bring them to Lake Town unseen and would help them to get food and weapons for the last part of their journey. Vili hoped that Bard could be trusted and that no further dangers would befall the company until they arrived at the Lonely Mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to put most of the plot of the 'The Desolation of Smaug' film in one chapter. The story is mainly about Fili and since there isn't much about him in the film nothing else made sense :/


	5. Chapter 5

Bard smuggled the dwarves to Lake Town in barrels full of fish. For once Vili was glad that he was dead and wasn't able to join the company. He had always hated the smell of fish and felt very sorry for his sons.

But at least they arrived in the centre of the town without being seen. But then a few guards arrived. They group and some of the men, who hated the Master and his guards, tried to distract them. Fili and Kili kneeled down in opposite doorways and pulled a rope. When the guard fell down flat on his stomach, they grinned like small dwarflings and Vili had to laugh.

Luckily the dwarves weren't seen and soon arrived at Bard's home through the toilet. Vili laughed once again but was glad that the man was willing to help the dwarves. They were given warm blankets and clothes and one of Bard's daughters cooked for them.

Vili worried about Kili's injured leg and was glad that Fili tried to look after his brother as good as possible.

Later the dwarves asked about the promised weapons and Bard showed them some self made weapons, which made the dwarves very angry. He told them that they wouldn't find better weapons outside the town's armoury. Balin tried the convince Thorin that they had fought with worse in the past but the others didn't want to hear any of it.

In the evening Bard left the house and the dwarves tried to break into the city armoury. A few of them climbed through a window and choose their weapons. The others waited outside.

Thorin gave Kili quite a lot of weapons and the young dwarf stumbled and fell down the stairs due to his injured leg.

At that moment the guards noticed the other dwarves and captured them. Vili gasped when a guard held a knife to Kili's throat to make the others lower their swords. He sighed in relief when the others did as told but worried what might happen now.

The dwarves were led in front of the Master's house. Vili despised the ugly looking man and his behaviour. Dwalin told him who they were and Thorin promised that they'd slay the dragon and share the gold of Erebor with the men.

Vili saw the proud look in his sons' eyes and hoped that Thorin would keep his promise.

Apparently the greedy Master was attracted by gold and promised the dwarves his help. He held a feast for the dwarves and gave them weapons, food, clothes and a boat.

The next morning the dwarves had to start they're journey. It was Durin's Day and they had to find the hidden door before nightfall.

Fili was already in the boat and helped to store the provisions when Thorin stopped Kili from entering the boat because he was sick and would slow them down.

Vili had worried deeply about Kili. He was pale and sweaty but he never expected that Thorin might leave his beloved nephew behind.

Kili tried to convince Thorin to be allowed to come but he wouldn't let him. Thorin cupped his nephew's cheek and told him to join them when he was healed. It stung Vili's heart when he saw the loving look in his brother-in-law's eyes and he wondered why he never looked at Fili like that.

Fili noticed what was happening and told Thorin that he'd carry Kili if he had to. But his uncle still said no. Then the blond dwarf stepped out of the boat.

Thorin grabbed his arm and told him that he'd belonged with the company. But Fili only looked at him angrily and said "I belong with my brother!" Then he went to his brother, who looked liked he'd collapse any minute and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

Vili was glad that at least for his eldest son seemed to value family more than the gold in Erebor.

Then the dwarves left for Erebor, only Fili, Kili, Oin and Bofur stayed behind. They tried to find shelter but none of the men wanted to help. After some begging Bard let them in. Kili's condition worsened every minute and nothing seemed to help. Fili looked at his brother helplessly and stroked his hair to comfort him. Vili prayed that Kili might survive by some miracle. He wasn't sure if Fili could live without his brother.

Suddenly a group of orcs attacked Bard's house. Fili fought bravely and tried to protect his brother and Bard's daughters. Vili prayed that he'd be able to kill all the orcs without his brother. He knew that they were used to fighting as a team.

After a few minutes of fighting Legolas, King Thranduil's son, and Tauriel, the red haired captain of the Mirkwood guards arrived and helped to kill the orcs or to drive them off.

Legolas left again to chase them but Tauriel stayed to save Kili. She was able to heal his poisoned injury with the kingsfoil Bofur had fetched.

Vili was glad, that the she elf had saved her sons life but he still didn't like her. When he saw that Kili fancied her and asked her if she could have loved him, Vili sadly shook his head. He knew that Kili was still plagued by fever, but he had already seen the admiration in his youngest sons eyes earlier.

Fili didn't seem to happy either but didn't say anything. He was relieved that his brother hadn't died.

Vili swallowed hard when he saw the dragon Smaug flying towards Lake Town. Didn't his sons deserve at least a few hours of peace?

Tauriel told them that they had to leave immediately and hustled the children towards the door.

Fili wanted to help Kili but the latter slapped his older brother away. The sad look in Fili's eyes stung in Vili's heart. Fili literally lived for his younger brother and being rejected by him hurt him more than anything else. He hoped that this had nothing to do with the elf and that she wouldn't destroy the strong bond between the brothers.

By pure luck the four dwarves, two girls and the elf reached the shore of the lake unharmed. The girls tried to find their father and brother and the dwarves wanted to travel to Erebor as quickly as possible.

Oin, Bofur and Fili readied the boat, while Kili stood on the shore and tried to convince Tauriel to come with him.

Fili even yelled at his brother to come but he barely reacted. He gasped when he heard Kili talk to the elf in Khuzdul, he called her 'my love' and even gave her the rune stone Dis had made for him as a promise.

Fili watched them from the distance with a sad expression. Vili knew that his eldest son had realised that his brother had fallen in love and that this had already partly destroyed their brotherly relationship. He also thought about Inia and wondered if he'd behave like that, too.

When Kili turned around and joined them in the boat, he tried to think of something else. He wouldn't show them how hurt he was.

Vili sighed, he hadn't seen that coming. He had always thought, that nothing could destroy Fili's and Kili's bond. He knew that Fili would always love his brother and look after him. But he wasn't too sure if Kili would do the same.


	6. Chapter 6

Soon Fili, Kili, Bofur and Oin arrived in Erebor. Bilbo told them that they had to leave and what had happened to Thorin. Kili seemed to have no idea what kind of sickness Bilbo was talking about and Fili just stared down at the gold. When he ran down the stairs, Vili worried that the gold sickness might have claimed his eldest son's heart, too. But he soon realised, that he was shocked about what his uncle had become in such a short time. Thorin threw a ruby at him and welcomed them to Erebor, but Fili didn't care about the gem at all.

The King focussed on his gold once again and the four dwarves went away to look for the rest of their company. They soon found them and everyone cheered happily. They jumped up and embraced Kili, Oin and Bofur. It pained Vili to see that no one embraced Fili until after a while Nori threw his arms around him. He could understand, that Bombur and Bifur were happy to see Bofur and that Gloin was relieved that his brother was still alive. But there shouldn't have been any difference between Fili and Kili.

Later Thorin summoned the dwarves to the gate. He told the company to close it since he worried that the people of Lake Town, who had come to seek refuge in the ruins of Dale, might steel his gold. Vili could see that Fili didn't like the king's decision. He knew that he wouldn't be able to change the situation. Kili tried to change Thorin's mind but it had no use.

Bard tried to negotiate with Thorin about the gold the latter had promised back in Lake Town. Vili sadly shook his had when Thorin simply turned away. He had no idea how thirteen dwarves should survive against an elvish army.

The dwarves knew that the elves would attack soon and so they looked for weapons and armour. Vili smiled, finally his sons looked like true princes of Erebor. Unfortunately Fili couldn't find twin swords in the arsenal and had to use a long sword instead. Vili knew that his son was a fine warrior but he worried that the lack of his preferred weapon might be a disadvantage if there was a battle.

The next morning the dwarves and the hobbit stood on the battlement and looked down at the army of elves and a few men from Dale. Vili didn't like the situation but was proud, that Fili stood next to his uncle, exactly where he belonged as the King's heir.

Suddenly Bard showed the Arkenstone to Thorin. The dwarf king gasped and Kili started to yell at Thranduil and Bard. Thorin said that the stone had to be a fraud but the hobbit said, that he took the stone as his share of the treasure and gave it to Bard to negotiate peace.

Thorin roared and yelled at the others to throw Bilbo down the wall. When no one reacted, Thorin grabbed Fili's collar and pulled him towards him. Vili gasped and was scared that the mad king might hurt his soon as well. But soon Fili was able to free himself. Then Thorin decided to throw the hobbit down.

Suddenly Gandalf appeared in the crowd and asked Thorin to return his hobbit burglar. The dwarf let him go and Fili and Bofur helped Bilbo up and helped him down the battlement.

A few minutes later Dain, the Lord of the Iron Hills arrived with his army. Thorin had asked for help and this time he had come. Vili was glad, maybe his sons would survive with Dain's help.

The dwarves and elves and men were just about to fight each other when loads of Orcs and Trolls arrived. Immediately the dwarves form the Iron Hills attacked them and with Gandalf's help the elves and men joined them.

Fili said that he wanted to climb down the battlement to fight and asked who would come with him. The others wanted to fight, too but Thorin forbade them to go. Fili turned away angrily.

Soon Dwalin tried to convince Thorin to fight but when he returned he told the company that Thorin only cared about how to keep the gold safe. They sat together with disappointed looks on their faces. No one said a word but everyone wondered what might become of the brave dwarves that had come to their help.

After a while Thorin appeared. Fili stood up and look at his uncle. He was still angry. Kili even started to yell at his uncle. Soon they realised that the gold sickness had disappeared. Thorin even put his forehead on Kili's and smiled at him lovingly. Vili was happy that Thorin was normal again. But he also couldn't stop wondering why he never did this to Fili.

Thorin asked the company if they'd follow him into battle one last time. Everyone stood up and took their weapons. Fili nodded and smiled at his uncle proudly.

Soon the thirteen dwarves joined the battle. They killed quite many orcs but then Thorin decided to go to Ravenhill from where Azog commanded the orcs. He took Fili, Kili and Dwalin with him. In their way up there they killed several orcs but no one was to be seen at the old watchtower. Kili exclaimed happily that Azog had fled. Vili frowned. Was his younger son really that naive?

Thorin sent Fili and Kili to search the watchtower. They did as told and after a while they heard noises in the upper part of the tower. Kili wanted to run there but Fili told him to watch to lower levels. He'd scout the upper levels alone. Tears started to glisten in Vili's eyes. He knew that Fili had quickly realised that the orcs had to be up there and was willing to sacrifice himself to save his younger brother and uncle.

Fili went up and was almost immediately captured by Azog. He didn't even have an opportunity to fight. The huge pale Orc dragged him out by his collar and held him up in the air. He told Thorin in his evil tongue that he would have to watch Fili and Kili die before he would die too. Vili wanted to scream. He knew that Fili didn't have a chance to survive but hoped that at least Kili might survive. Dis would be heartbroken if she lost them both.

Fili told Thorin to run away but the king shook his head slightly. Then Azog pushed the sword on his arm through Fili's torso. Vili knew that his son was dead immediately and glad that at least he didn't have to suffer. He couldn't bear to look at the blood dripping from Fili's chest and focused on the others: Bilbo had tears in his eyes and Dwalin put his hand in front of his mouth the stifle a sob. He looked down and whimpered quietly. Vili was surprised that Dwalin sowed more emotions than Thorin and Kili, who only stared at Fili's dead body. But on the other hand he wasn't too surprised.

Azog let Fili's corpse fall down the fall down the watchtower and it landed right in front of Kili. The younger dwarf looked at his brother for a few seconds and rushed away to revenge his brother. Vili knew that until today Kili had never lost someone that was dear to him and was quite sure that he didn't mourn his brother properly because he was too shocked by the things he had just seen.

Vili couldn't take his eyes from his dead son. He noticed that Kili fought bravely until Tauriel, the read headed elf distracted him. When she was attacked by Azog's son, Bolg, he tried to save her. But Bolg was too strong and killed Kili, too. Just a few moments later Thorin was killed by Azog.

Vili was devasted. His beloved wife had lost her whole family in less than an hour. He saw how the elf kneeled down next to Kili crying over his dead body and even kissed him. He also saw the hobbit cry for Thorin and soon he was joined by the rest of the company. All of them had survived and now they kneeled down around Thorin to mourn their king.

Later Tauriel brought Kili back to Erebor while the company carried Thorin's corpse.

Only Fili was lying in the cold snow for hours. Vili's heart broke, no one seemed to care for his eldest son even now that he was dead. After what felt like forever Dwalin appeared and took the blond dwarf in his arms to carry him home.

Vili was glad that at least Dwalin seemed to care about him. Then he tried to smile. Fili would join him soon and he'd show him how much he loved him.


	7. Chapter 7

Vili sat down on a rock and couldn't hold back his tears any longer. Both of his sons were dead, even now nobody cared about Fili and his beloved wife had lost the last members of her family. But then he remembered that there was still another member of the royal family. His wife didn't know about him or her though.

His mind drifted to the north west of Middle Earth. There, in Ered Luin, it was a cold winter day, too. Inia's belly had grown a lot and she had moved in with Dis since her family had abandoned her after they had found out that she was with child out of wedlock. At the moment Dis went to the market and Inia cleaned the kitchen. Suddenly she felt a sting in her heart and sank to the floor. "Fili. Don't let me alone! You have I come back to me and our child." She whispered and clutched her belly.

Now Vili cried even more. He had known about Fili's feelings for her. He also knew that Inia loved Fili but he hadn't known how much. Now he was completely sure that he was her One though. Otherwise she would never have felt his death like this. He felt sorry for her and worried about his unborn grandchild. What if Inia wouldn't be able to love her child because it reminded her of Fili?

He had no idea how long he had cried when he heard a noise. When he looked up he saw his eldest son standing in front of him. He wiped his tears away with the back of his hand and ran towards him. Vili threw his arms around Fili's neck and held him tight.

Fili wrapped his arms around his father's waist and buried his face in his hair. "Adad, I missed you so much all my life!"

In that moment Kili and Thorin arrived in the Halls of Waiting and stood behind them. Fili turned his head around and screamed. He had hoped that Kili and Thorin had surived. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks and he buried his face in his father's hair once again. "I'm sorry, Adad! I promised you and Amad that I'd always take care of Kili and to protect him. But I failed. You have to be very disappointed of me. I'm sorry!" Fili said in between sobs.

Vili stroked his son's hair and back with one hand. "Fili, you are a wonderful son and you made me very proud. I watched you grow up from here. It tore my heart apart to see how everyone treated you. I never understood why they didn't show you as much love as you would have deserved." He glared at Thorin. "Kili died to protect this red headed elf. He could have survived if, for once, he had listened to you and ran away."

Fili tried to calm down and looked at his brother. "You died to save her? Why, Kili?"

"Because I loved her." Kili answered.

Fili shook his head. "You can't be serious. You knew her only for a few minutes. This was nothing more than a puppy love." When Fili saw the sad look in Kili's eyes he went to his brother and embraced him. "I'm sorry, Kili. But I wanted you to be safe. You should have lived. And you threw everything away for her. I don't understand that."

Kili still glared at his brother. "You don't even know what love his. You never truly loved someone. That's why you don't understand."

Fili sighed sadly and looked at Thorin. "You should have been King under the Mountain. I wanted to protect you both. That's why I went up the watchtower."

"And with that you defied my orders. In the end I managed to kill Azog but he wounded me mortally. Things might have ended differently if you had done as you were told."

Now Vili had heard enough. He went to his eldest son and put his arm on his shoulder. "Fili sacrificed himself to protect you. You should thank him for everything he did but all you have left are mean words. You don't deserve a nephew like him. When I died, I thought that you would be a wonderful uncle and father figure for him but I have never been so wrong in all my life."

Then he turned towards his younger son. "I never met you, Kili. But I loved you as much as Fili. When your Amad told me that she was carrying you I was so happy. I cried when you were born. And when you grew up you often made me smile. It often hurt to see how Fili was treated. But I was glad that Dis could love you in the way every child deserved. You were the sunshine in her life and I was happy about that." He embraced Kili shortly and then looked at him again. "But you've changed so much since you met this elf. You and Fili were inseparable and from one day to the other you turned away from him. And now you even tell him that he never loved anybody? He loved you and he literally lived to make you happy." Vili looked down and took a deep breath. "And he loved someone else, too. But he knew that both of you would never accept her. He hid his feelings for his One and would have born the misery of living without her just to make you and Thorin proud and happy and because he thought that it was his duty to marry a noble dwarrowdam one day! And now you dare to say that he never loved anybody?"

"If he truly loved a female, he should have known how I felt about Tauriel and why I died to protect her." Kili yelled and looked at his uncle.

Thorin shrugged. "Kili, you know how I feel about elves. But your father shouldn't say such things to you the day you have met for the first time. He may have watched but he doesn't really know you. Come on boys, let's try to find my family."

Kili nodded but Fili shook his head for he wanted to stay with his father. For the first time he felt like someone understood him and his feelings.

Thorin growled but then left together with Kili.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for the comments and kudos :)
> 
> From now on the story will be from Vili's and Fili's perspective. I will also describe what is happening in Ered Luin und Erebor in between the stars(****). I think that it's easier to read and that it makes more sense like that :)

"I have done everything wrong. I should have done as Thorin had said and I should have accepted Tauriel." Fili said with tears in his eyes.

Vili shook his head and went to his son. He embraced him once again and stroked his back. "No Fili, don't say such things. You are a very brave, loyal and wonderful dwarf and I'm very proud of you. They should have apologised after everything they did." He took a deep breath. "I really wanted to punch them for what they said but there are rules here, too. They are royalty and I'm just a common dwarf but I learned how to behave."

Fili looked at his father and tried to smile. "You are my Adad! That's all that matters. I missed you all my life and now I have you back."

"Aye, I missed you, too. Everyday I wondered how your life would have been if I hadn't died. But I never wanted you to join me that soon. I could have waited for another 200 years. You should have lived and you should have experienced the joys of fatherhood." Vili said.

Fili looked down. "I always wanted to be a father. But I could have never married my One. And having children with another? I would have had to sire children with a noble dwarrowdam. But without truly loving her? Maybe it's better like that. I couldn't have been happy." He swallowed "You know about Inia? How?"

"Well, as I said, I watched you grow up. And I also saw how-" Vili chuckled "well, how intimate you were with Inia."

Fili blushed bright red. "I shouldn't have done that. But I loved her so much. I had to tell her and when she returned my feelings, I couldn't hold back any longer."

"Aye, I understand that. Inia seems to be a wonderful person." Vili smiled. "Come with me, I want to show you something."

Fili nodded and followed his father to a more private area.

Vili showed his son how to focus on the world of the living to see what is happening there. It took some time but then Fili was able to see the Blue Mountains pretty clear. He wondered why he saw his mother's home although he had tried to see Inia. Then he saw her in a place he would have never expected her to be.

****  
Inia laid in Fili's bed and clutched one of his cushions. Under the blanket she stroked her belly. She wiped her tears away and tried to calm down. She had to be strong for her child who kicked her pretty much today. Deep in her heart she knew that Fili was dead but he had left her with a wonderful gift. She would do everything to make sure that her child had a good life though she didn't know how.

Dis entered the room with a bowl of soup. She sat down next to Inia and stroked her hair. "Are you feeling a little bit better, my dear?"

Inia nodded. "Aye, I don't know why I collaosed earlier. But I feel better now." She lied because she didn't know how to explain what really had happened. She wasn't hungry but she had to eat. She sat up in bed and took the bowl and spoon.  
****

Fili gasped when he looked at Inia's round belly. He covered his mouth his with his and looked at his father with wide eyes. "Inia is with child. My child?"

Vili nodded. "Aye, you're One is carrying your child."

Fili had to sit to sit down when tears rolled down his cheeks. "Why is she with Amad? Does she know that I'm the father? I'm sure she wasn't happy about what I've done."

Vili sat down next to his son and explained what had happened. "Two months after you had left, Inia found out that she was with child. When she told her parents, they were furious because she was with child out of wedlock and sent her away to live with the dwarf who had sired the child. Inia didn't know what to do or where to go and started to live in the cave you met her in. Soon she didn't know how to get food. She went to the market to ask for food or a job. She even considered to work in a brothel to earn money to care for her little one. Luckily Dis found her soon enough and noticed that she was with child immediately. She wanted to help and offered Inia to stay with her. At first Inia was reluctant, but then she agreed. But until today she hasn't told Dis the truth."

Fili gasped. Suddenly he wondered if she might have said that someone had raped her. it would have been the easiest explanation and he understood that she would say that he was the father. "What has she told her?"

"She told Dis that she had met her One and that they loved each other very much and that she wasn't careful. Dis first didn't understand that the dwarf would not take her in. When Inia told her that the father had left Ered Luin and didn't even know about his child, she felt very sorry for her and promised to help her."

Fili wiped his tears away. "I'm glad that Amad helped her. But what if she finds out that I'm the father? She will be so angry. What if she sends Inia away, too?"

Vili wrapped his arms around his son's shoulders. "I think she suspects that the father is one of Thorin's company. I'm sure she would be shocked but happy about your child. I can't imagine that she'd send Inia and her grandchild away. She had always said that every dwarfling deserved a good and happy life no matter its parentage."

"I hope you're right, Adad. But still a feel like if I ruined Inia's life. She had so many dreams but I don't think that she'll be able to make them come true anymore." Fili sighed sadly. "What if she will hate the child for destroying her future?"

"She loves her child and is happy. But now that you're dead I worry that your child might suffer. You're mother loved you. But you reminded her of me and she couldn't bear to look at the child that reminded her of her One every second. That's why she treated you differently than Kili." Vili said.

"You think she might not be able to love our child because it reminds me of her? Oh Mahal, what have I done?" Fili buried his face in his father's hair and cried like a dwarfling.


	9. Chapter 9

Over the following weeks Fili met Thorin, Kili and other members of the line of Durin occasionally. He didn't feel very happy in their presence since most of the time they complained about his and Vili's behaviour. Thorin yelled at Fili when he found out about the baby. He couldn't understand how his heir could be that stupid to sire a child with some common lass he barely knew. Kili even told him that at least he didn't hop into bed with his love and impregnate her immediately.

So Fili stayed with his father most of the time. They talked and Vili always reassured his son that he was very proud of him and that Fili had done nothing wrong. He didn't want to look to weak in front of his father though. So he often hid alone in a corner to cry. Of course Vili knew but he never said anything.

Fili was relieved to see that Inia felt better again. The baby grew every day and seemed to be very healthy. He watched her and his mother sit at the kitchen table to prepare their lunch when someone knocked at the door loudly.

****  
Dis stood up and opened the door. Dwalin stood in front of her with a sad look on his face. Dis knew immediately that something was wrong and put her hands in front of her mouth to stifle a sob. "They're dead, aren't they?"

Dwalin nodded "Aye! I'm so sorry, Dis! I had sworn to protect them, especially your sons. I'd understand if you don't want to see me anymore. But can I please come in?"

Dis nodded and went to the living room with him. Inia stayed in the shadows but listened to the older dwarves' conversation. Dwalin explained everything that had happened during the quest and how Fili, Kili and Thorin had died.  
****

Fili watched his mother closely. Like so often she hid her feelings; a few single tears rolled down her cheeks but she didn't show more emotions.

His father sat down next to him and wrapped his arm around his shoulder. "She has always been like that. She was a child when the dragon took Erebor. But still she was raised as a princess and royalty doesn't show emotions."

"I know. She often scolded me and Kili for showing too many emotions. I'm sure she's sad but -" Fili but his lower lip. "I wonder if she grieves Kili and Thorin more than me."

Vili pulled his son closer. "Fili, don't say such things. She loved you and still does."

"She showed more emotions when she heard how they died but when Dwalin talked about me? Nothing." Fili replied and winched when he heard Inia scream.

****  
Inia tried to be strong and calm when Dwalin explained how Fili had died. But when he told Dis how he had retrieved Fili's body hours after Kili and Thorin had been brought to Erebor she collapsed on the floor. She screamed and wrapped her arms around her belly.

Dis kneeled down next to her a few seconds later. "Inia, what's wrong?"

"My belly hurts so much. Please help me!" Inia gasped in between sobs.

Dis put her hand on the younger dwarf's belly. "I think your baby want to be born."

Now Inia cried even more. "But it's too early. I can't loose my child. Please, you have to help me!"

Dis looked at Dwalin and together they brought Inia to her bed. Dis stayed with her and sent Dwalin to fetch the midwife.  
****

Fili looked at his father in shock. "Adad, Inia... It's too early... She-" He wasn't able to form a proper sentence. If Inia died during the birth it would be his fault. He'd never be able to look at her again.

He rested his head on his father's shoulder and focused on Ered Luin again. He didn't want to see Inia in so much pain but he couldn't tear his eyes away from there either.

****  
After a long and difficult labor Inia held her baby in her arms. She was exhausted but happy. The dwarfling had been born several weeks early but was strong and healthy. The midwife was sure that she would survive with good care.

Dis helped to wash the baby and wrapped her in a blanket. Then she handed the little lass to her mother. Inia fed her for the first time and caressed her face with her index finger. Her daughter looked exactly like her father with golden hair and big blue eyes. "Filia" Inia whispered. "I want to call her Filia."

Dis sat down next to the younger dwarrowdam and smiled down at the baby. "She's Fili's daughter, isn't she? Fili is your One."

Inia looked scared but then nodded "Yes!"  
****

Fili gasped. His mother knew now. He could only hope that Dis wouldn't be to angry and would help Inia taking care of her beautiful granddaughter.

****  
"When you first told me that your One left Ered Luin I was sure that it had to be one of those who left for Erebor. And I saw you and Fili together at the market one day. So I've always thought that the child in your womb might have been my son's. And well, how you reacted earlier when you heard about Fili's death confirmed my assumption." Dis explained and smiled at Inia.

"I was sure that Fili had died the day you found me in the kitchen a few months ago. I can't explain it but I felt it in my heart. Are you very angry that I didn't tell you?" Inia said.

"No, my dear, I'm not angry. I've never treated Fili as well as he had deserved and I think I understand why you have been scared after your parents' reaction to your pregnancy. I will help and support you and Filia as long as I live. I swear. We will find a way to make your life as good as possible." Answered and stroked over her granddaughter's head. "You've felt Fili's death like a sting to your heart, didn't you? I felt the same when my husband, Vili, died. It means that he was your One."  
****

Fili sighed in relief. Inia loved her little daughter even though she looked like him. His mother wasn't angry and even wanted to help Inia and Filia. Maybe everything would be well after all.

Vili pulled his son into another hug and congratulated him on his daughter.

Fili smiled at him with tears glistening in his eyes. "Thank you, Adad! She's such a precious gem. I would give everything to be able to hold her in my arms."

"I know how you feel, my son." Vili said sadly.

Fili returned the smile and focused on his family again.

****  
Dis left Inia to get some sleep and joined Dwalin in the living room. He was curious about the young dwarrowdam and so Dis explained everything. It was good to think of something other then the last remaining members of her family who were dead now. But then she had to smile. There was still a living member of her family.

Dis looked Dwalin in the eyes. "I have to tell you something concerning Inia. Do you swear that you won't tell anybody about it?"

Dwalin looked confused but nodded.

"The dwarfling, Filia, is Fili's daughter. Inia is his One. Apparently they spent a few weeks together before you left. But he didn't dare to tell anybody since she's just a common lass." Dis took a deep breath. "Nobody must know about this, Dwalin! If the council finds out about this, there will only be trouble. I will think of an explanation for the lack of a father so Inia and Filia can have a good life in Erebor. I think I have an idea already." Dis said in a low voice.

"I understand that and I will help you as good as I can. Filia may have been born out of wedlock but she's a member of the direct line of Durin. I have sworn to protect you! And I will protect you, Inia and Filia until the moment I die." Dwalin promised.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in ages. Although I exactly know what I want to happen in this story, I had a kind of writer's block. But I promise that I will finish the story!
> 
> Please remember that the text in between the stars(****) is what happens in Ered Luin and Erebor.

Fili sat alone in a corner and cried although he didn't even understand why. He felt so many emotions and this was simply too much for him. On the one hand he was happy to be a father and that Dis and Dwalin understood Inia's situation and wanted to help her. But one the other side there were so many things he worried about. Filia was born several weeks too early and Inia had lost lots of blood and was heartbroken now that she knew for sure that Fili was dead. He was scared that both of them might die. Of course that would mean that they'd be reunited, but he wanted them to have a long and happy life. A happy life; Fili,worried about that, too. Inia had had many dreams for her future and Fili really wasn't sure if these could come true now. He prayed that his mother might somehow be able to help. He would give everything to be able to help but he was doomed to watch.

****  
Dwalin stayed with Dis and Inia in Ered Luin for a few more weeks. The young dwarrowdam had to regain her full strength after the difficult birth before she was able to go on the long journey to Erebor with her tiny daughter. For nearly 3 weeks she stayed in bed with Filia in her arms. Inia always held her daughter close to make sure that she was warm and comfortable. She loved her little girl dearly although it sometimes hurt to look at her since she looked so much like her father.

Meanwhile Dis and Dwalin prepared everything for their departure. On their last evening in Ered Luin Dwalin came to Inia's room and sat down next to Filia's cradle. He had never been good at small talk; so he simply asked the question that had been on his mind since Dis told him everything about the young dwarrowdam. "Lass, do you want to marry me?"

Inia gasped and looked at the older dwarf with wide eyes. "What?" Then she had to sit down.  
****

In the Halls of Waiting Fili had to sit down as well. He hadn't seen that coming since Dwalin had never showed any interest in marriage.

****  
Dwalin sighed. "Lass, listen! Of course I don't love you but I want to help you. Everyone will frown upon a young dwarrowdam with a child out of wedlock. You will never be able to find a decent job. Do you want to earn money to care for the little one as a whore? As the wife of a dwarf lord you would have a good life." Dwalin took Inia's hand. "Lassie, I will never touch you or tell you how to raise your daughter. I just want to help you."

Inia looked at Dwalin with tears in her eyes. "You really want to help me? Why?"

"Fili has been like a nephew for me. I want to help those who are important for him." Dwalin took a deep breath. "I should be dead, not Fili, Kili or Thorin! I should have protected them. I haven't fulfilled my task and will have to live with the guilt of failure for the rest of my life." Then Dwalin sank to his knees. "I know that I can't make amends for my failure, but please let me help you? I beg you to marry me!"  
****

Fili tore his hair. Dwalin was such a good dwarf and he felt terrible for him. None of this was his fault. He hadn't been careful enough and that's why Fili had died. He prayed that Inia would accept his offer. Fili knew that she loved only him, and, like Dwalin had said, the marriage would give her a better life in Erebor.

****  
Inia swallowed. "I understand why you want to help me and I thank you for this offer. But Filia looks exactly like Fili and it's pretty clear that we weren't married before you went on this quest."

Dwalin took her hand again. "Lassie, most of the dwarves who knew about your pregnancy are going to stay here. We can say that I married you in secret. My brother, Balin, will add us to the marriage register without any questions or a real ceremony. And for Filia's looks, well, my mother had blonde hair. People might gossip about us but they will accept our marriage in the end. There is nothing they could do about it anyways. Please Inia, let me help and protect you! Give me a new reason to live."

Inia had tears in her eyes and bit her lip when she looked at the older dwarf warrior. He looked heartbroken and desperate. "I will marry you, Dwalin."

Dwalin breathed out in relief. "Thank you, lassie! You won't regret your decision."  
****

Fili smiled. Inia would have a good life. He knew that Dwalin would never hurt her. Fili had always dreamed about marrying her but he could have never done that anyways.

****  
The next morning the small group started their long and difficult journey to Erebor. They ran into some small Orc packs but nothing happened. In Erebor Inia and Dwalin married officially. No one dared to gossip about the huge imitating dwarf and even Dain, the new King under the Mountain was happy about the match. Inia was a simple dwarrowdam but every dwarfling was a treasure no matter his or her parentage. Dis still helped Inia wherever she could and the remaining members of Thorin's company adored the little girl. Of course they knew that she was Fili's daughter though.

The day after their arrival Dwalin showed them the graves of Thorin, Fili and Kili. Dis tried to be strong and shed a few tears. But Inia sank to her kneed in front of Fili's grave and sobbed uncontrollably. Fili was dead and she felt like she deceived him with the marriage to Dwalin. She felt terrible and nothing Dis or Dwalin said could stop her tears from falling.  
****

Fili felt terrible, too. He never wanted to cause so much sadness and trouble for the one he loved more than anything in the world. For a brief moment he regretted telling her that he loved her. But then he remembered that the few weeks he had spent with Inia had been the happiest of his life.

*****  
They lived a good and peaceful life and Filia became more beautiful every day. She was a perfect copy of her father. Inia often braided her hair similar to Fili's and even used his beads. When Filia was five years old, Oin asked Inia if she wanted to help in the infirmary. Oin had become head healer and needed an assistant. Inia beamed at the old dwarf and agreed immediately.  
****

Fili loved to watch his daughter grow up and he cheered happily when Inia was allowed to become a healer. This had been her dream since she was a dwarfling. Once again Fili thanked Dwalin for his help and support. Inia would have never been able to learn such a profession as a single mother out of wedlock.

Vili embraced him. He had been a bit shocked when his son told him that his One had married Dwalin but then he had understood that this was the best for everyone.

During the next few weeks Fili watched Inia work in the infirmary every day. He was incredibly proud of her since she had learned a lot in a very short time. Fili knew that she was the perfect healer.

One day Kili appeared in front of his brother with tears streaming down his cheeks. "Fili, I'm so sorry for everything I said and did when we arrived here. I've been an idiot! You've been right all the time but I really thought that Tauriel's love for me was real."

Fili sighed and patted Kili's upper arm. "What happened?"

Kili sniffed. "I was curious about this watching the world of the living thing you are doing all the time. So one if the dwarves showed me. I wanted to see Tauriel. I was sure she mourned for me since I've always thought that elves love only once. But instead I saw her flirting with Prince Legolas. She still tries to win his heart." The dark haired dwarf sobbed. "She never loved me, Fili. She played with me all along. She didn't even keep the rune stone I gave her."

Fili looked at his younger brother sadly. He wanted to comfort him like he had done all his life, but Kili's words about Inia had hurt him deeply. "Kili, I'm sorry. This is horrible. But I can't act as if nothing had happened between us."

Kili cried even more. "I know Fili. I behaved like a stupid and selfish dwarfling. I regret my words about your love for Inia. Please forgive me! I need you!"

Finally Fili wrapped his arms around Kili and let him sob into his chest. "I can't forget what you did to me, but I will try to forgive you."

Kili looked up. "Thank you, Fili! That's more than I deserve." He wiped his tears away. "Will you tell me about Inia? I'd like to learn more about her."

Fili nodded. They sat down together and Fili told his brother everything about his love. Their relationship was different from what it used to be when they were younger but it was a beginning.

Vili watched his sons with tears in his eyes. He hoped that they'd become closer again one day. They had loved each other dearly until the female elf had destroyed everything. Their bond would never be like it used to be again. But at least they talked and shared their feelings. Vili joined them with a smile and embraced both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos. You make me really happy and please remember that I love to read what you think :)


	11. Chapter 11

Several years passed in a similar way. Fili and Kili had become closer again and spent a lot of time with their father. Vili, who had never truly know his younger son was incredibly happy about this turn of events. One day, hopefully in many years, Dis would join them and they would be a real family once again. 

Fili enjoyed spending time with time with them, too. But most of the time he still watched Inia and Filia. 

*****  
Inia had become a very talented healer and helped Oin a lot. She enjoyed her task a lot and it helped her to think of something other than Fili.  
Often she walked down to the crypt though. There she sat in front of Fili's tomb and cried. She couldn't show her sadness in public and at home neither. Fili thought that Dwalin was her father and wouldn't understand her mother's tears. 

Dwalin and Inia often spent the evenings with Dis and the rest of Thorin's company. With them they didn't have to act like a happy married couple since they all knew that Inia loved only Fili and that he was Filia's father. Often they shared stories about the past, especially about Fili and Kili. 

On some occasions like Durin's Day they had to be the happy family in public though. But since Dwalin had always been a bit grumpy and had never showed his feelings in public no one wondered that they barely danced and never kissed. Some dwarves gossip about them though. Filia was nearly twenty years old and Inia had never been with child again.  
*****

Fili felt terrible and blamed himself once again. Inia deserved a husband who loved her and a big family. But she would never have that. Fili sighed and wiped a tear away. He would make Inia as happy as possible when she'd join him in the Halls of Waiting one day in the future. Until then she would find happiness in Filia. Fili thanked Mahal everyday for his beautiful, precious daughter. Filia was Inia's biggest treasure and she literally lived to make her happy.  
********

Filia had turned into a beautiful and smart young dwarf girl. Now she looked even more like her father. Her golden hair and her physique were clearly Fili's and often she even behaved like him. 

So Inia decided to tell her daughter the truth about her parentage. She had always wanted her to know but had worried that the little girl might accidentally tell someone. But now Filia was old enough to understand. Inia was also a bit scared that her daughter might be angry that they had lied to her for too long. 

She had told Dis and some others about her plan and Ori immediately suggested that he had an idea how to tell the young dwarf girl. 

So on Filia's thirtieth birthday Ori gave her a special gift. She unwrapped it later that evening together with her mother and Dis. Filia frowned when she held a picture of a male dwarf that looked very much like her in her hands. She showed it to the two older dwarrowdams with a questioning look on her face. 

Inia looked at the picture and put her hand in front of her mouth to stifle a sob. But she couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. Ori's gift was a beautiful painting of Fili. Inia was pretty sure that he had made it during their quest to retake Erebor. 

Dis sat down next to the younger dwarrowdam and laid her arm around her shoulder. "Shh, shh, it's alright!" Then she looked at the picture and gasped. Dis had known that Ori was a very talented artist but this painting looked so real, as if Fili was still alive. 

Filia watched the two older dwarrowdams and frowned again. "Amad, who is this?"

Inia cleared at throat and smiled at her daughter. Then she got up and kneeled down in front of her. "Filia, this is your Adad." She said. 

Filia looked confused."But Dwalin is my father." 

Inia shook her head and took her daughter's hands in hers. "No, he isn't. Dwalin married me after you were born to make sure that we have a good life. Fili, the dwarf on the picture, is your father. We fell in love before he went on the quest to reclaim Erebor together with Dwalin and the others. A few weeks later I found out that I was with child. I was happy but also scared since Fili was the heir to the throne and I was just a simple lass. But Dis took me in and after Dwalin told us that Fili was-" Inia sobbed "that he was dead he asked me to marry him because he felt guilty for Fili's death and he wanted to help." 

Filia swallowed and looked at her mother in shock. "My Adad was the heir to the throne and died in the battle of the Five Armies?" When Inia nodded, she looked at Dis "So you are my grandma?" 

"Aye, I am!" Dis said with a smile and patted her granddaughter's arm. 

Filia stood up and embraced her mother and grandmother. Then she started crying. "I often wondered why I was so different from you and Dwalin. But now everything makes sense."

"I'm sorry that we didn't tell you earlier. But we thought it was the best like that." Inia said and stroked her daughter's head.

Fili's nodded. "I understand! Will you tell me more about him." 

Inia, Dis and Fili sat down together and shared many stories and shed many tears. Later that evening they went to visit Fili's grave. 

Filia trailed her fingers over her father's name on the tomb and put a kiss on it. "I love you, Adad! I don't know you and you never met me but I hope you somehow still know that I am here and that I make you proud." She whispered with tears rolling down her cheeks. 

Inia, who cried as well, wrapped her arms around Filia and kissed her forehead. "My Amad once told me that the dead can watch their loved ones from above. I'm sure Fili can see us and loves you very much." She put Filia's head on her chest and stroked her hair. "One day in many, many years you will meet him and he will tell you how proud he is. I'm sure."  
*****

In the Halls of Waiting Fili started crying as well. He had worried about how Filia might react to the truth but she had born the news very well and most importantly she loved him. One day he would be able to hold her in his arms and to tell her how proud he was. But that would hopefully not happen in the next 200 years.

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this story came to my mind when I watched BoFA for the second time and watched AUJ and DoS again afterwards. To me it seemed that Thorin favoured Kili throughout all three films. I thought that there had to be at least one person who loved Fili as much as Kili and maybe even a bit more :)


End file.
